So you can't afford my panties, pantyhose etc.......... but you could start with these.  Don't panic, they won't be red.  I've had an endometrial ablation.  I'll wear 2  in one day for you.
Comes with:
*  Vacuum sealing.
*  A smutty loveletter included.
*  Parcel tracking provided.
*  Proof of inserting one tampon sent by G Drive.